youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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