Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
