Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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