he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
