I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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