She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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