Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
