is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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