i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
