if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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