talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
