I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
