Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
