So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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