I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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