grandma shit on top of the toilet
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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