I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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