Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
