i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
