Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
