Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
How external is "for external use only"?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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