is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
