no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
