I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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