So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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