From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
