I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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