Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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