The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
