do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
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