I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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