so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
