She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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