could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
