mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Two words: blizzard sex
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
