I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I am available for nakedness
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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