Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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