wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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