Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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