So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
foreskin is a definite game changer
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
