you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
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at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
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We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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