she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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