then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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