Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
