she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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