buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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