Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
