I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
