In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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