I hate all girls vehemently.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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