Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
