I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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