You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We left the knife in your bed.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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