Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
