Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
