I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize