you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
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I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
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Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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