Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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