This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She's the barista slut.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
