Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Randomize
