Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
